Posted in Personal

The best feelings in the world

What is the best feelings in the world?

A couple of weeks ago I talked about one of the best feelings in the world. It is to genuinely feel happy for other people.

Another best feelings in the world, in my opinion, is a heartfelt hug. I didn’t notice the lasting impression and blissful sensation of a heartfelt hug until later in my life.

It was early 2013, I was in my late twenties when I first realized that this is one of the best feelings in the world.

By that time, I was just moving to a new town, Bogor, to start a new job at a quaint research institute. The hug was between me and one of my best friend from high school, Dinaya.

She works at construction sites, having a degree in architecture. Given that most of her workmates are male, her job is quite unconventional, at least for woman. She is one of only two female in the job. The other lady does not work on the construction site but doing paperworks.

Working at construction sites, she moves around frequently, at least at yearly basis. Coincidentally, she always moved to where I was at that moment. When I returned to my hometown, Yogyakarta, in 2012, she was placed to work at a construction site near her parents house in Yogyakarta. The following year, when I moved for a new job in Bogor, she was also put into a new project around Bogor. Six months later, when I moved to Jakarta, she was also moved to another construction site in Priuk, Jakarta. She stayed only one bus stop away from my place.

The heartfelt hug happened when we first met in Bogor, after both of us left Yogyakarta. It was a surprise for both of us, knowing us to be in the same city again, away from our hometown and family. We met at Botani Square, a mall within walking distance to my place. At Ground Floor, I was searching for her and there she was, with her sudden heartfelt hug bursting with utmost energy. She seemed to be very happy to see me. At that moment, I knew how much we were thrilled to have a great time being around each other in a new city. I couldn’t help but offered my widest grin and memorized the moment, the sensation of a heartfelt hug forever.

Screen shot 2015-05-19 at 11.31.56 PM What to do when we were together? We eat sushi! She taught me how to enjoy sushi. Naturally, sushi date became our staple activity. Sushi is not fun to eat alone. As we dressed each piece of sushi with wasabi and dipped it into tiny bowl of salty soy sauce, we would chat endlessly with full enthusiasm. We had great fun talking in between our eagerness to have a taste of different types of sushi, complemented with refillable warm ocha. Our sushi date was always eventful because conversations like ours are life-changing and to be cherished until the end of time.

She is part of my history. She is the only one (besides my parents) who visits all my dwelling place in Indonesia: in Yogyakarta, Bogor and Jakarta.The only place where I lived that she didn’t visit was the dorms in the Netherlands. As an architect, she noticed that I always choose to live in the second floor with trees within reach. I am a “tree-house” type of person and she crazily offered her talent to design my future tree-house with an old feel to it.

She’s generous like that, I could also mention the perfect gifts that she gave not only for me but for those I care about. Earlier this year, she gave me a bag, my favorite color, from Bangkok, just exactly what I needed and was looking for. My grandmother who is usually hard to please – while this is not necessarily a bad thing – get her rare thankfulness explicitly spoken for a full-pictured book with large fonts about the miracle of Al Quran, just exactly the type of thing that she would be fond of. That’s how caring Dinaya is.

Not only that, miraculously, she was always present on important moments of my life. She was the first long-time friend of mine who met Darmanto before he became my husband. She approved in an instant. The three of us ate several times together, in a a dining place inside the Botanical Garden and other places. It’s always a good sign when your “crush” get along very well with your best friend. I am extremely happy that she was present and I hope I could also provide the best of my presence for her unfolding stories with her “crush”, though the most I could do is to offer to be all ears.

Screen shot 2015-05-19 at 11.31.01 PMWhat I know for sure is that she need not to worry. I have known her since high school and she is the most capable woman. She is very resourceful and a true leader. She led the very active girl scout in high school while also being secretary of another school organization. No wonder she has no problem in her career. She’s only one step away from being the project coordinator. On top of that, she accomplished it all in such young age. She doesn’t need to change a bit and I feel sorry for people who think that she should be put into a box called “dominant women” and that being one is a problem. How bad is that word for her self-esteem, while that quality is what makes her special.

Despite being a great leader, she is not the boring type of leader. She is creative, a poetic storyteller. Not only in words, but she could draw exquisitely as well. She makes fiction, cartoon, illustration and whatnots. When we first enter high school, she made a beautiful, on-point comic strip for me. As new students, her gesture couldn’t be more timely and wise. I think she has great combination as an effective leader and a wickedly talented creative person. Somehow, she made it all worked.

Her own life also somewhat resembles a kind of poetic fiction. As if she writes her own life scenario, with all its suspenses, layers, and intricacies. What actually happened doesn’t matter as much as what impression that lingers and how she “recreate” the story from her point of view, out of her own experience.

I still remember, one day in high school, when I sneaked into her secret diary and found lots of words of wisdom in it. It was unbelievable, yet in a way admirable. I know for sure that the content of my secret diary are not at all words of wisdom, but real dark secrets that would make me boil if anybody ever read it. If that was her life, I don’t know why she should hide them. As I also knows that she doesn’t need to hide any, I repeat, any of her outstanding qualities.

People like her provides world’s best feelings, and the world gets a little better because of it. Happy birthday, Dinaya Andari!


on-going tensions between ready-made values and uncharted territory

6 thoughts on “The best feelings in the world

  1. Thank you for sharing this! It brings a warm fuzzy feeling of knowing your best friend cares for you and wishes the best for you, and vice versa. What a gem!

    1. Thanks Pixie! Hopefully the same thing applies in the blogging world! I should try harder to be around and maintain the connection. Hope you are well 🙂

      1. Indeed I think it does apply to blogging too. I think it’s not always intuitive to feel genuinely happy for others, because of competition, of insecurities like you mentioned, of misguided fear etc – but as one blogger mentioned eloquently – “there’s enough happiness and success to go around for everyone” – I think this helps!

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