Vanity

How do you write? Is it easy of difficult? And if you care to elaborate the process you go through, that would be a marvel.

I hate writing. There. Finally I admit it. Loud and crystal clear.

Surprise, surprise, what a confession to make, right? Well, it shouldn’t be that shocking as you may witness here how rarely I update. Now, let me guide you through the painstaking process I made myself endure for each agonizing ritual that is writing.

First of all, I kind of “select” what to write. It has to be meaningful. Add value in the midst of hyperinformation era. What will the world miss if I don’t tell this particular story? As if “the world” are aware of this humble blog. Well, at least one can hope. And one can imagine how difficult it is to produce a writing when, instead of being spontaneous, it starts with a rigid and potentially mind-blocking filter of what to and what not-to write.

However, it is not a make or break deal for me, the meaningfulness of the story. Sometimes I write just because I like to compose something with language. The story doesn’t really matter that much. In this stage, I will imagine the strongest opening line, the appropriate punch line, the suspense, the plot, the sound of each sentence, rolling seamlessly to another. One can measure how long it take to complete this process, as English is not my native language. It took days to create one paragraph (or sentence-I am not exaggerating) that feels just right. Most of the time I give up and let everything fade.

But the joy, the joy when it happens. Unquestionably that is it. That is why I write.

So why would I rather worry about things other than “just-write”? Why do I aspire my writing to be, first and foremost, timeless? Why am I eager to practice the art of restraint, to make my writing on point and exquisite, not excessive? And why do I have to be scared if what I write is something of irrelevance or worse, either unrelatable or too generic, not unique?

Well, well, this has to stop. Look at how much I missed because I did not write. Not to mention the greatest loss: being absent from the venue, from opportunities that leads me to get to know you. The interesting and, perhaps, ordinary you.

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14 thoughts on “Vanity

  1. It’s a long time I have read any post from you. Nice to see you back:)
    Yes, writing in English is difficult. Especially, when it is your second language. But, then my love and passion for writing overpowers all my fears.
    It actually keeps me motivated:)

  2. “What will the world miss if I don’t tell this particular story?”

    A strong point to think about when writing. Even more important would be the one you ended with like , “What You would miss? The Joy.” Quiet an introspection it looks like. 🙂

    And again, writing is one this but blogging is something that wouldn’t end just with the writing, right? Keep blogging.

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