Posted in life

Stillness in Motion

What kind of sport are you into and why?

Yet again, I have to move to another country. This time, it will be for a couple of months before I move again next year. It’s easy to lose yourself and your sense of wonder, get bored, or feel stuck when you’re in a constant. But interestingly, it doesn’t matter if your constant means staying put in one place or moving around like there’s no tomorrow.

Out of the blue, I feel like I want something to hold on to in this constant unsettledness. Otherwise, I am afraid my life would be a random series of killing time. Though it feels nice, sometimes it’s also tiring when you got the impression that everything feels disconnected and nothing leads to another. Or is this feeling due to the expectation that one has to achieve a certain particular milestone at a certain particular time of one’s life?

…I am not sure, but I just suddenly felt the urge to commit to do something. Regularly. Day in day out. I try to convince myself that a routine wouldn’t harm me anyway, and there’s no such thing as too late. There’s no such thing as too late. After all, your life is made of what you commit doing every single day, day in, day out, notwithstanding the absence of acknowledgement from other people.

pretending …

Then it boiled down to this: I attended my first yoga class yesterday, something that I wish I could commit doing on a regular basis. The class is every Tuesday, but participants are expected to practice at home on their own every other day. I used to assume that yoga is full of nonsense, but surprisingly it felt nice. It’s absolutely basic, no intricate sanskrit words, no bla-bla-bla, nothing fancy, only nine of us and two instructors in a no nonsense yoga studio with mirror covering one side of the wall, sleepy music, a little sound of dripping water and plain yoga mat for each.

As it was my first yoga ever, I don’t get the philosophy of mind-body-soul connection or whatnot. For me, it was purely physical. Being someone that has never been exceptionally good at any sport (but still consider myself quite fit, nevertheless!), I really enjoyed the one and a half hour session. I was not too bad and doing that first session had already made me complacent as it felt like a real sport, real sweat, real muscle stretch, etc. No wonder, just starting out felt that amazing, like a gold star, coming from me who has not done any sport (including swimming–my all-time favorite) for a long long time and whose work out routine only includes regular walking, doing chores, or cycling short-distance.

cycling, used to be my only work out routine

During that first session, I learnt some new things about myself:

  • My right hand is not as flexible as my left as it failed to reach my head down from my back while the left one managed to do it at ease. Needs more practice and someone to slowly pull it on a regular basis. Sounds like a feasible target, isn’t it?
  • Yoga suits me because it is slow and not competitive. I was quite good at gymnastic or running, perhaps just because I have the endurance to go on, but it’s not something that appeals me to do on a regular basis. Yoga seems to be a completely personal sport. Of course it could be done together or as a social event, but essentially I just need to close my eyes and concentrate to feel my own body doing the right movement. The more I trust my own body, the more it could do what I thought impossible. It’s all about the balance between control and letting go.
  • I completely have no idea of breathing techniques, and as a living being I thought it was a no-brainer! This is crucial, I should really do something about it.
  • I really don’t get how to make my body tensed and relaxed again. Not as crucial as breathing techniques, but I suppose regular yoga would help me in better controlling the tension and relaxation.
  • I lost my balance a couple of times (funny to look at!). It’s not as urgent, nonetheless being still is an art that I wouldn’t mind to get myself familiar with.
she’s absolutely sporty while i am just someone who’s trying to “hang in there”

It hits me now that mind and body could be in a completely different world. I thought I was stronger, fitter, I could do anything. I thought I was ready for unmentionable physical hardships that will definitely be coming in the next couple of months, but now I honestly realize that all that thoughts are absolute overestimation of myself.

Well, at least I found out the real state of my being. I know what I have to do, and I hope it’s not too late. Of course I can try my best but I cannot control the result. I need better preparation. Nothing is instant. I should instill deep into my mantra that no effort goes to waste because the process should be more important that the result. Otherwise I will end up doing nothing for the lack of guaranteed result or acknowledgement.

What about you? Are you into any sports? Why do you enjoy it? What makes you committed in doing it?


on-going tensions between ready-made values and uncharted territory

7 thoughts on “Stillness in Motion

  1. “…. it doesn’t matter if your constant means staying put in one place or moving around …” Is it about being in the moment, where we are right now, and finding the stillness in it?

  2. Glad that you’re into yoga now! I keep scribbling my love letter to yoga, but I think action is better than words 🙂 Anyway, after my on-off practicing yoga for more than 10 years, I found out that yoga is more than a merely sport. It keeps me in a whole. Last year I decided to take it to another level by starting meditation and how everything makes more sense.
    Keep folding your body, keep ohm-ing, namaste Nad!

  3. Hey there, I found you via the NaBloPoMo blogroll.

    I had to take a year off from all things exercise as I had pulmonary embolisms this time last year. I’m just getting back into it now and I’m walking 5km a day. I will like to get back into my pedal kayaking as well, probably in the next couple of weekends. 🙂

    As part of NaBloPoMo I try to comment on as many participating blogs as I can, and I am also adding participating blogs to my feed reader. So I’m just dropping by to let you know I’ve added your blog to my feedreader, whenever you publish a post I will see it. 🙂

    I have created three bundles on Inoreader so that bloggers can easily visit other participating NaBloPoMo bloggers which you can find here –

    Your blog is in the second bundle.. I also have a link up going at my place so my readers can find participating blogs which you are more than welcome to add your blog link to.

    Looking forward to seeing your posts. You may see me drop by again during November, but it might be December before I finish my first drop by to blogs if I don’t get faster at leaving comments. 🙂

    Happy NaBloPoMo to you!

  4. I’ve discovered Zumba lately, as I like music and dancing so I guess it’s a healthy way in combining them both :). Also, you really convinced me to try yoga, so I must do that in the future. 😉

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