Posted in life

todays’ monologue

my almost-previous self


it’s difficult


and expensive

to be someone i’m not

at least i’m trying


the problem is

i don’t like who i am

nor who i was

so i’m trying to get rid of it

trying too hard

to get rid of myself


in other hand

it’s painful to see

someone else

being me



and i wanna say

“hey, it’s me

it’s my role you’re trying to play”


and i’m already not myself

already losing part of who i am

not only particles, but my sense of self

and it’s hard not to deny

that someone else is getting all the advantages

and me, am getting nowhere


i just don’t know how to carry on


on-going tensions between ready-made values and uncharted territory

17 thoughts on “todays’ monologue

  1. *at first, thx for visiting my blog*

    hey-hey… what’z goin on with ur spirit? just thankful with God of creating you. just thankful for anything that you are being right now. no one able to be you, no one. i say, there is no one. and you, also, never could be them. never.

    oke… great blog. 😉

    1. eh terima kasih ya ngirim komentar ke blog adikku di adikku jadi seneng lhoch. katanya kamu ngirim ke halaman galeri lukisan ya. trims.

  2. “hey, it’s me
    it’s my role you’re trying to play”

    nadya pasti lebih baik memainkannya daripada dia memainkannya

  3. kadang dalam kehidupan seringkali tanpa disadari kita terlalu ingin cepat cepat mencapai tujuan, berusaha keras, mencoba menciptakan versi sempurna dari diri kita sendiri. terus menerus. sayangnya,keadaan itu tanpa sadar akan menjadikan kita seseorang yang -seringkali- asing bagi diri kita sendiri.

    nad, don’t be someone else just to satisfy demand…

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