“Those who really have a difficult life, never mention ‘difficulties in life’,” my late friend once told us in a small forum of five.

This quote always reminded me of one of my best friend. Despite tremendous difficulties in her life, she always, always consider herself lucky.

She was born on February the 13th. People tend to associate 13 with bad luck, but not her. She managed to flip the bad omen into luck. Or, perhaps it was the way she see things, her point of view, a constant perception to rewrite her hardships into stories of sweet revenge.

Such as these word of hers:

Sometimes I regret why my legs are short, but then I smiled remembering how far I’ve gone.

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Last week, I stumbled upon one of my junior high school friend. She didn’t change a bit. She looks exactly the same like when I saw her the last time, around 15 years ago. She still got the same child-like face, with a small pair of eyes, small nose, small lips, small straight and soft hair in a ponytail. Her petite figure could easily made people think that she’s a school kid.

As she walked down the stairs of the oldest mall in my hometown, I greeted her.

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Are you afraid of dark?

Last night, you did not sleep at all. The same thing happened the night before. And the night before. And the night before. It is basically every single night. You never sleep. At night, that is. Then in the morning, I have to turn all lights off. It irritated me, the way you have to turn on every single lamp in the house. It doesn’t make any sense. At least for me. But perhaps you are different. For as long as I could remember, since little you are always afraid of the dark.

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Laura Parrott-Parry in In Others’ Words raised a very important subject on her post, Law of the Wild. She talked about the guilt-feeling of rape victims. It seems that a lot of victims are putting blame on themselves, at least partially. Yes, you got it right. The victim is blaming themselves and they mean it. “Down to the very core of who they are.”

This is, to say the very least, problematic. Or downright insane, to be absolutely blunt.

But what’s going on in the victims’ mind are way more complicated than what other people may comprehend. This is not to endorse the victims’ self-blaming. Nor to let rapists get away feeling less guilty.

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